Life is a continuous cycle of endings and beginnings – an interconnected relationship that pushes us to our edge. These transitions are not just markers of time but are pivotal moments that shape our journey and our future selves. They are the silent architects of our personal growth and collective evolution.
I want to share some thoughts about my recent ending and this new beginning – the launch of Relationships for Change.
The Importance of Endings
Endings often carry a weight of finality that can be both sombre and liberating. They signify the completion of a chapter, allowing us to reflect on our experiences and the lessons learned. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, a career, or a phase of life, endings force us to confront change and the impermanence of our circumstances.
28 years working for the same organisation is a very long time and leaves an imprint and shadow. This doesn’t just feel like a significant ending, it is a significant ending and one that as I write this is still being processed as I didn’t just leave an organisation, but I left trusted and productive relationships with colleagues and friends who mean a lot to me.
Lessons in Letting Go
One of the most valuable lessons endings teach us is the art of letting go. Holding on to what no longer serves us and no longer fits can hinder our progress, as well environments where we no longer feel like we belong, or are able to grow and develop challenge the inner voice that says “time to let go and move on”.
Endings remind us that letting go is not a sign of defeat but a courageous step towards growth even when they are painful. I’m learning that without letting go, we also hold onto the pain. To let go also allows the pain to be processed effectively, it’s not easy but it’s important.
Opportunity for Reflection
Endings provide one with a pause, a moment to look back and assess our journey. This reflection is crucial as it helps us understand our actions, celebrate our achievements, and acknowledge our mistakes. When I look back, I feel proud of what I’ve achieved and hugely grateful for the lessons I’ve experienced.
On a personal level, and when it came to my actual end, it didn’t feel like the best it could have been, it felt flat, it lacked an energy that can fuel the internal process to support letting go. It felt more like a wake than a celebration. Maybe I am just naive to think that the ending could have been a good one.
I understand that when one is made redundant there is a formality, a set of processes to follow, but does this mean that the relationships one has in the organisation become transactional and focus on serving the processes first over respecting and recognising the people? I believe this could be done differently and it would help not just the individuals but the organisations.
Maybe an easy change to say, could be to stay focused on the relationship that had been created when someone joined and honour it. Based on experience and learning I believe the missing question that could have unlocked this, was simply – “What does a good look like to you Carl?”
I appreciate and understand that not everyone will be content to leave like I was, others may choose to opt for others options for example being redeployed to other roles, or have very different views and perspectives – either way by focusing on connection and collaborating with the person and asking what matters or what good looks like, it has the potential to turn a bad ending into a liberating one. With that outcome, organisations create stronger advocates for the behaviours and culture they left behind.
The Promise of Beginnings
Beginnings, on the other hand, are brimming with potential and opportunity. They are the gateways to new experiences and the birthplace of hope and dreams. Beginnings encourage us to set new goals, dream bigger, and embark on new adventures.
I wondered whether I had the capacity to process an ending and beginning at the same time, I was right, I didn’t. So I made the decision to create space, mental and physical space to support my wellbeing for the ending to follow its course, and for the beginning to emerge fully.
The energy created from beginnings is full of renewal and regenerative properties, I had started to experience seeds of the beginning before my ending started but just enough to know the ending was coming. However I just didn’t have the mental capacity to nurture it as the ending played out.
A Fresh Start
Every beginning offers a clean slate, a chance to start anew. It’s an invitation to redefine ourselves and our aspirations without the constraints of our past. I feel like I have transformed myself and can embody the new – Relationships for Change, a new vision for myself and the future. This feels energising and the weight of the past has now been integrated and has evolved, no longer a burden – but a collection of memories, experiences and skills.
Cultivating Resilience
With every new start comes the unknown, which can be daunting. But beginnings are also a testament to our resilience. They show us that we have the strength to start over, no matter the circumstances. I walk into this unknown future, not knowing if and when I’ll get paid, if what I can offer people is needed now and worthy of reward outside of a formal organisational structure.
However, I’m manifesting and holding a clear intention to shape and create a future where I’m able to support my family and feel authentic doing so. This will test and develop my resilience, so whatever happens I know I’ll be stronger and more flexible.
The Interconnectedness of Endings and Beginnings
The beauty lies in the fact that every ending is inherently linked to a new beginning. This cyclical nature reminds us that life is a mosaic of interconnected moments. When one door closes, another opens, and within that space lies the potential for change and transformation.
Understanding the interconnectedness of endings and beginnings allows us to embrace the cycle with grace and invite in its wisdom. It teaches us to be present in the moment, to cherish the journey, and to remain open to the ebb and flow of life, tuning into what emerges.
It’s just a Dance
Endings and beginnings are just a dance. They are a rhythm to which we all move, each step a testament to our resilience and capacity for renewal – even if I might look like a Dad at a wedding dancing to classic 80’s music – there is a beauty in being in balance to one’s own tune. By honouring these moments, we honour the very essence of who we are and who we can become – we are ever-changing, and full of possibilities.
Let us wrap ourselves in the inevitable fear that weighs over us like a shadow and welcome it, as we await the warmth of the sunlight. For it is in the delicate balance of endings and beginnings that we find out who we really are inside and can touch the inner purpose that has been waiting to be heard.
Afterthought
Embracing the cycle of endings and beginnings is a powerful way to navigate life’s journey. It allows us to let go of the past, welcome new opportunities, and grow through the transitions.
As we move forward, we can remember that every ending paves the way for a new beginning, and within that lies the beauty of life’s continuous unfolding and the importance of our most important relationship – the one with ourselves.
A journey through life - Carl's Notepad 